back from dallas.

the boyfriend and i decided to go on to dallas. we went back to his hometown and was there to support his family. after being there a couple of days, he decided that we should just go to dallas. staying in his hometown was just not going to change anything. so we went and...

i just got back about a hour ago. i really wanted to sit down and just vent about everything that i did, saw, and experience while over there but i am really just jaded and i want to go to sleep. i hate airtran. they really suck. we sat in atlanta for 10 hours. then they could not even get us a flight back until 11 o'clock tonight. they also lost our luggage. really just pissed me off. one of our wonderful friends drove up there and got us. so we didn't fly back. i was in a car for 9 hours today. i'm really over it.

anyway, i'm super tired and will write about in full later. goodnight.

i hope life is better on the other side.

the boyfriend's grandfather passed away today. i'm guessing it was his time and he decided to go on a tight schedule for the two of us. but it is funny how quickly all plans go out the window once something tragic happens. i care for the boyfriend and his family so much that i'm fast to let go of all my plans with my family. we had plane tickets to dallas to see my sisters last major cheerleading competition and a paid hotel room with my mother, who is more like a friend to me then a mother, and bam, all those plans are trashed.

of course i feel selfish and i want to go. i want us to skip out on his family thing and go to mine. we need this vacation. however, what i want and what is best are two different things. no matter how much i want it i know that my place isn't in dallas. some higher power has made it clear that i'm not to go. and deep down i'm okay with that. i will not regret my decision to stay behind. i would regret it more if i went while the one i plan on making all my other plans with was back in south georgia hurting. we need each other. i love him dearly.

if anyone reads this then please put his family in your hearts over the holiday. its going to be a rough few days. happy valentine's day.

getting a little burly.

i really need to shave my face. its been almost a week and i'm starting to almost resemble a man. i lack the ability to grow any kind of facial hair. so i usually can go about a week without shaving before i get scruffy and its time to get rid of it all. it'll happen tomorrow before work.

the boyfriend's grandfather hasn't showed any signs of getting better or getting worse. its still pretty much a sad issue and he's suffering. i hope that he's able to go and go soundly. it saddens my heart when bad things happen to good people but i have to remember that sometimes good people are 96 years old. at 96 i guess you're pretty much ready to get going on the next adventure you embark on. which in most cases would be the afterlife.

on a different note... i got raped this weekend by a private framer in town. i took two pieces of art work to get matted because my portfolio for review is due on march 3rd and i'm trying to get all my pieces presentable. well for two pieces to just get matted, not framed, was 60.00. i went to hobby lobby two weeks ago and got four pieces done for 50.00. hobby lobby did a shitty job though so i'm hoping this framer does a kick ass job because for those outrageous prices they better bring something to the table.

i'm leaving for dallas on thursday. i've never been on a plane before so i'm uber nervous. if the boyfriend's grandpa has something tragic happen then i won't be going though. i would definately put family, even extended family, before any kind of self enjoyment in instances like that. however, we are counting for heading out on thursday, so please think about us and think about our saftey. i'm sure that i'll post a youtube video of my sister's performance regardless on if i go or not. she's amazing and i'm super proud of her. her team has made it to the nationals for like five years in a row and never left second place. they've always taken first. so i'm really proud of her and super excited that i'll be seeing her in person. even if they don't win i'm still extremely proud.

i'm off for the night. school is tomorrow and 7 o'clock will not delay itself. goodnight and behave.

sweltering heat.

so my apartment is a steady 80 degrees with no air conditioning. its probably the worst ever. the unit will turn on but it does not want to blow out cool air. my apartment is not very big and only takes about five minutes to cool down. not too much to ask. i had the apartment guy who fixes things in my apartment today but he just left and never came back. sooooo... either he's not going to fix it or he better come back tomorrow and get the thing working because i'm sweating. and its freakin' february.

one thing i hate, no loathe, about south georgia is that its 45 degrees one day and 85 the next. i feel like global warming revolves around this shit whole. my sinus are constantly aggrevated because i can't get acclumated. i don't enjoy being nasaly and having to blow my nose every five minutes. its been like this for a month now. for one week it was nice a cold, like down to the high 20's, and i was able to bust out my favorite wool peacoat that i got for christmas from the boyfriend. and another day i got to wear my wonderful black wool coat with my scarf and i loved it. i felt like i was cute again but then bam the next day its back up to the high 60's and i'm wearing a light track jacket. not that my track jacket isn't awesome but i get to wear that all the time.

oh well, really, i'm grateful for being alive. and grateful that i've got a place to sweat in. it could be worse. i could have no shelter what so ever.

oh and if anyone reads this then may i please request that a small prayer be said for the boyfriend's grandfather. he is very sick and close to both of our hearts. its not looking good but even a thought and a little prayer for him and his family would mean the world. even if you don't believe in prayer, just at least think about us. thank you.

softball really sucks.

today i definately went to the largest redneck sports gathering. and that gathering would be middle aged men pretending to be younglings again playing softball. i don't like baseball but just add even drunker rednecks and you get recreation league softball. but i went to appease the family that i'm trying to get good with because one day they might be my family as well...

the boyfriend's sister and niece had come to town because her husband plays in one of those fantastic made-up sports league. and to my suprise the boyfriend had went ahead and told his sister that i would be going to see them at the ball field. i don't like to get the day's events planned for me but i just shrugged this one off and decided that it might be fun to go see them. after thinking about it for a second though i realized that the boyfriend definately had to be at work in a little bit, meaning that i would be going alone. i could already feel the awkwardness of sitting there forcing chit-chat but just went ahead and tried to brush that feeling away.

after lunch at chili's, which is always amazing, i saw the boyfriend off to work and jumped in my pontiac. i made a quick decision to go by the video store to see if i could get some cheap movies but of couse the video store had no good deals on anything that i was interested in. if i'm going to buy used dvd's i at least want 4 for 20 dollars but their best deal was like 2 for 25. i could buy new dvds for that cost and be happier with them so i jumped back in the pontiac and drove my somewhat dissappointed self to the apartment. i packed up my beautiful wiener dog, boston, and headed to the ball field.

the ball field was of course packed because these made-up softball league things take about 30 teams and have them play on 12 fields and allow each member to drink as much as they want to. so why would any normal red neck pass up the oppurtunity to join one of these beer drinking leagues? well, anyway, i park and start to bring boston into a park that doesn't allow dogs but ignore the signs because i wasn't going to leave him in the pontiac, and as i walk in i here the hackling of the red necks. "I like your wiener... dog that is" and then a steady "i've drank to much har har har laugh" comes from a group of them wearing uniforms that don't match and those skanky sunglass band things that keep the sunglasses from falling off their head. of course i don't look up or at them because i am uncharecteristically embarrassed when hearing the horrible jokes thrown at me by the grotesque crew. i should have turned around because i felt that somehow that must have been foreshadowing but luckily it wasn't.

the future sister-in-law and i held pleasant conversation and i actually enjoyed the time out. i know boston loved getting out of the apartment but probably didn't like the fact that the niece wanted to pull on every piece of excess skin that he has. oh well, it was sit inside or go outside and i think boston would have rather been outside. well... after a pathetic attempt to play softball the team "Outta Control", whom i believe i was supposed to be cheering for, lost. i took that opputunity to escape and leave the red neck fiesta. i'm happy i went but the whole trip did not enlighten my thoughts any about softball, which i still firmly believe is just a made up reason to drink. just like the super bowl will be tomorrow.

i have to work tonight. 6:30 sharp. i hate kohl's. but it pays the bills.

another attempt to blog.

i guess i'm deciding to start another blog. i've done this before with freeopendiary as a youngling, later with livejournal, and then finally i've posted a couple with myspace but nothing serious. certain things compell me to keep some electronic record of my thoughts and major happenings in my life. however, i later just stop posting. maybe i'll keep this internet blog current and not just let it get pushed back into the darkside of the closet with all the other skeletons and past blogs... anyway... onto what i feel is actually important enough to make the overall content of my first blog entry.

nothing too too dramatic happened today. i read other blogs and sometimes wish my life was half has interesting but living in south georgia really doesn't add any kind of pepper to life. i'm originally an atlanta scene whore who loved to go out and hit the night life. now i'm a stay at home dad who keeps his family together. i have a wonderful lover and an adoriable dog. i work at kohl's department stores but that doesn't mean that i lack style and go for bargains. i have a horrible shopping fetish. i love to by for myself. for the boyfriend. for my dog. and basically for anyone and everyone else.

basically i'm just going to use the first blog for more of an introduction. i will try to get into the blogger mood sometime throughout the weekend or week. i'm going to dallas for a cheerleading competition that my sister is competing in so i guess in at least a couple of weeks i'll have some interesting stories. those cheer gays are probably the most outrageous and off the wall gays that prowl the plant earth. and the boyfriend definately can't even stand being around normal gays so we will see how the spunky cheer gays interact with him.

thats it for now.